But, around New Years I decided to go for it. This time last year I got a silk press that looked thick without it practically standing on top of my head so I figured I would go back to the same shop and receive the same results and if not I’d at least get a much needed trim out of it and that would be worth it. After two hours of having my hair blow dried and flat ironed to death I was pleasantly surprised at the outcome. I’m also happy with how long my hair has grown since my original BC. It reached the length it was back in may but the trim put it at a few inches shorter.

This whole experience is exactly why I went natural in the first place. I love the versatility of natural hair. I can wear my hair straight and then wash it and wear an afro. I just love the look on all of the doubters faces who told me I was crazy to go natural, and crazy to cut my hair. Now I can’t wait for it to grow some more. Back on track to my ultimate goal BSL here I come.

But I won’t lie I’m terrified of heat damage.

Things I’ve learned about my hair this past year:

1. I have several textures and curl patterns. I’m not big on hair typing because I’ve noticed that what people view as 3c, etc. ranges from person to person but I have kinky, curly, and wavy hair.

2. My hair is far longer than it looks, especially on the sides and in the back.

3. Detangling is easier if I section my hair first.

But the biggest thing I learned was probably about the different patterns. I always thought I only had one, then around four months I thought I had 2. Now I know I have probably four. Sometimes I wish that my hair was all the same texture (loose wave mostly) but I am still learning to appreciate my hair for how it is.

After spending four months in my own little, cushion-y, natural hair world, I’m so lost about how to be natural in this situation.

At home, I could careless about the way my hair looked so I didn’t worry about my twa and I’ve had genie locks practically the entire time. Now, it’s time for my locks to come out and I don’t have the hair length that I’m used to, to fall back on. Give me some shoulder length hair and a blow dryer and I’m good.

With short, natural hair, I’m completely out of my element. And not only that but, aside from my immediate family, no one has ever seen me with a short hair, let alone a short afro.

What do I do?

A few things have happened since school ended pertaining to my hair. I big chopped!!!!! Well kinda, I still have about an inch of relaxed hair left just because I suck at cutting my own hair and people in my house refuse to help me. So I have a twa with straight ends.  I bc’ed on May 7th so I’m almost three months mostly natural – that’s how I look at it. Um, cutting my hair has made me notice stuff I never knew about my hair. The curl patterns and textures are more noticeable. I totally believe in scab hair, I can feel the difference between the textures because I didn’t cut it off.

I also got into yarn braids/genie locs. I am a huge fan of this Nigerian blogger Yagazie Emezi, she has amazing style and I love her hair. She inspired me to get yarn braids which I love!!! I’ve had two sets so far. The first set my mom put in were bsl and I put in the set I have now which are mbl. It takes time to do them but they are cheap and easy. I have super thick hair and it only took a roll of Big Red Heart yarn which is like $2.50 at Wal-Mart and I just don’t have the issues I had with hair from the hair store. I’ll post more about my yarn braids later.

We Nicki Minaj came out in all of her colorful wig glory. Little Barbs across the globe started purchasing blonde and pink and black wigs. And, I think Solange wore a wig like the night before she posted pictures of her hair cut. Now, Rihanna’s wiginess has been noted in blogs.  I also met this girl this semester who wore a wig she made (she when to beauty school while she was in high school) for most of this semester.

I think I’m going to buy one this summer. I like the fact that I can have an instant hair style and when I’m tired of it I can take it off and buy a new one or do something else with it.

I think I want one styled similar to this hairstyle (I’ve always loved Keri’s hairstyles)

Also, I haven’t had the urge to perm my hair…yay me! I think that’s when I realized that I was ready to be completely natural. There are aspects of relaxed hair that I miss like not having to detangle and sleekness (at times) but aside from that I haven’t thought about saying ‘F*&% it’ and getting a perm like everyone suggests that I do.

Which is something I still don’t understand! As someone who doesn’t have to deal with my hair at all, why would you suggest I give up my own personal goal and preference just because the way my hair looks doesn’t suit you? F&^% you!

Though I will admit that my hair very rarely has good days. With the breakage, the different textures, and the fact that I don’t know what I’m doing, styling my hair is a challenge for me though now I do see greater possibility that I did before.

I think my biggest concern has been what I’ll look like after I cut off my hair but what does it really matter? This change will only be temporary and I plan on getting braids anyways so it’s not something I’ll have to deal with on a regular basis. My only concern now is making sure that whatever hair I keep is at a braid-able length

I’ve never liked cutting my hair at all and I think this will probably the biggest cut ever so I’m trying to get used to the idea before I go through with it in the summer.

My mom’s reaction has been a no-brainer. She will never completely understand why I want to do this and that’s fine. But, every time I come home from school I really don’t need her suggesting that I go get my hair permed. At this point, I could really use her support and acceptance but it’s just not there.

Aside from my mom, my friend/roommate made a similar comment yesterday while I was getting my hair pressed by a mutual friend. And get this, she’s transitioning! She’s been transitioning into natural hair longer than I have but our reasons are completely different. She just straightens her hair every week and only gave up perms because she can accomplish the same look with a flat-iron. She also has heat damaged hair that she is in denial about.

I, on the other hand, am going natural so that I can truly appreciate my hair in it’s entirety. Yes, I do straighten my hair on a regular basis but for me it’s a means to an end. With the breakage and the length of my hair, I’m not sure what else I can do to it besides get it braid, which I can’t afford right now (My friend charges me $10 to do my hair). Once I get to a certain length, I do plan on wearing braid outs, twist outs, and wash and go’s.

I have actually come across a lot of natural girls since I’ve started college and the vast majority of the ones I’ve met just keep their hair straight. I’ve only come across a few who wear there hair kinky/curly. Of my close friends 4 out of 5 of us are either completely natural or transitioning and I’m the only one who even plans on deviating from straight hair. Apparently, I’m the only one who likes my “nigger hair”…yes a black woman actually used that term when talking to me.

So we’ll see how everything goes. I can’t believe I’ll be 6 months post in April, this is the longest I’ve ever gone. I pray that I continue on this journey of not just discovering my hair but also myself as well. I also pray that as black people we learning to be more open and accepting of the way God made us. Yes, my hair can be a hassle but not everybody’s hair can do what my does naturally and God made it that way so it must be special.